My Fantasy Christmas Dinner Party

Fantasy in more ways than one.

Firstly, the very idea of me hosting a dinner party in the first place would be nothing short of a miracle. I have the ability to get stressed in epic proportions in the kitchen when there is anyone other than the Mr and my own children at the table. I don't like cooking particularly and I have a casual approach to recipes with a 'that'll do' attitude. I do cook, every day, from a stock of about 12 recipes which are dished up in rotation. Anything new, and certainly anything worthy of a dinner party, is high risk. Wanna come to dinner?

Secondly, we are a bit short of space. I could put the extra leaf in the dining table but half the guests would be eating in the front room while the rest of us would be in the dining room. I should point out that we have already knocked through the two rooms, so no masonry excavation equipment will be necessary.

Thirdly, please can a nanny be provided to distract and amuse the children while I prepare myself. This can take some time but I normally get about 15 minutes between children getting into bed and first guests arriving. Even by my lazy attitude to personal styling this is not quite enough time.

So for my fantasy dinner party I will require:

• A caterer in the guise of Nigella Lawson. Only can I keep her behind the scenes please and take all the credit?
• A builder in the form of Nick Knowles. Nick can stay on for dinner too, as can his gaffer Mark Millar with his cheeky Irish charm. *ahem*
  
• A nanny not dissimilar to Jo Frost, in fact the very actual Jo Frost please. Once the kids are in bed she can stay on for dinner too, just in case any of the little angels decide to wake up.
• I feel a personal stylist wouldn't go amiss and should Gok Wan be available I think he could be worthy of my invitation.
• I'd like Mary Portas to come along so we could exchange retail strategy ideas and maybe give me a few pointers about restarting my career (at some point beyond nappies).

So that's the catering, building, children, clothing and career taken care of. *ponders*

Last up, for interiors advice and use of his staff discount card, Terence Conran. I have my eye on a very funky sofa. *nudge nudge wink wink*


So anyways, sorry if you didn't get an invite but space is at a premium around my table.

Why not throw your own party and hook up with Dorky Mum where it all started.

Cheers!

Five... around the table

You know that game, when you have to invite 4 people to a fantasy dinner party. I played it last night with a group of school Mums and I was actually a little bit shocked.

Not, you know, OMG. Just more, well I never!

We are all intelligent women in our 30's or *whispers* 40's in the medical profession, business professionals, full time working or stay at home Mums. Each month our group (The Alternative Book Club) get together austensibly to learn or share something for fun but this must not (repeat MUST NOT) get in the way of a good sauvignon blanc or gossip obviously.

So there we are, fully informed of all the staff room comings and goings, wine glasses charged and a fantasy seating plan ready to be commended or outrightly ridiculed.

Given there were 10 of us and we each had to invite 4 guests, how many women would you say were invited? No this isn't a trick question on "Do you think you are smarter than a 10 year old". I'll take an "Age 6 Maths, please Dom".

The answer was precisely 2. And of those one was someone I thought I should throw in just so I didn't look like a hussy who had invited all men. I needn't have worried!

In trying to justify our choices, I think we just struggled in our busy lives to spend more than an hour to think about it so we were influenced by who we had seen most recently on TV. And as the majority of presenters, actors, comedians and musicians are men, we should not be surprised by our significant male bias.

Or are we just a feast of feisty females who had had a bit of fantasy fun?

Over analysing probably :-)

For the record mine were:

Rob Brydon - for humour not totty
Kevin McCloud - for intellect and *ahem* totty although that was loudly ridiculled
Chris Evans - Sauvignon blanc was almost spilt over who was going have him at their table
and Adele - my token women although she is clearly awesome.

And also for the record, The Big One would have the White Power Ranger, Garfield and Ode, Steven Gerrard and Flappy (supposedly a Moshi Monster).