Terms of Endearment

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I love terms of endearment, the film and actual terms of endearment, darling, sweetheart, my love.

From people I know.

NOT from random people in shops, the market, or on social media.

I have an escalating scale from mildly irritating to "I AM NOT YOUR BLOOMIN' -------*"

*insert term of endearment here

At the more favourable end of the scale, which can be quite sweet if delivered by an elderly gentleman whilst holding the door for me, is Me duck. It is a local term, common in these 'ere parts and is generally used by those of a age older than myself who have lived their entire lives in the same postcode.

Darling can be lovely (from a certain person, in the right context and without any hint of sarcasm). But drop the g and you are in another league.

Sweetheart is old fashioned and has me thinking of post war years, make do and mending and cups of tea. I wasn't there, it just evokes that era.

Dear implies I am of a certain age, especially if delivered by someone younger than myself. I'm sorry but that offends me and sends me into Boots anti-wrinkle cream department forthwith.

Love. This reminds me of my parents. They use this a lot. I don't want to turn into my parents so I try not to use this myself unless administered with more than a dash of sarcasm. Should someone other than my parents use this directed at me, they will be on the receiving end of a stare Paddington would have been proud of.

It is not beyond the realms of possibility that someone could use these terms collectively, within one short interaction, at the market say, whilst buying your satsumas. After I have been physically bowled over by the effusive love gushing in my direction, wondering if their partner knows about our affair, and how I will explain to my husband that I seem to have inadvertently become a lesbian in the last 30 seconds, I then feel an overwhelming desire to tell them "I AM NOT YOUR ------!" punctuated by the throwing of satsumas in their general direction. Failing that I mutter a thank you under my breath, walk home and write a blog post about it.

Then there is the ultimate, the "you really don't want to call her that" one, the off-the-scale endearment that is...

Hun.

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Used between women most commonly. Short for Honey one assumes so therefore SPELLED WRONG! This puts me into stratospheric state of satsuma lobbing pissed-off-ness.

I am a member of a facebook group, where everyone calls everyone Hun and 99% of the time, followed by a X. Should these people (women) meet in real life, I very much doubt they would get on so well and be in such admiration of each other that they would actually call each other Hun. I may be wrong. It is not a term I have ever used, in written form (except here obviously) or in real life, but it has been directed at me on numerous occasions and frankly I know those using it do not consider me their Honey. They are just using it instead of my name. LAZY.

My name is visible on the facebook group, so use it. If we meet in real life ask me my name, I will provide it, and you can use it, freely. I will not charge you.

The word Hun in the strictest sense relates to a group of nomadic people, the most famous of which is Attila. I don't know much about them but I have a feeling I don't really want to be referred to as one.

So best leave it there, eh Hun x