Friday, 8 July 2011

A Mother's CV

You've probably worked at some point in your life, if not your whole adult life and you've probably got a CV (resume for anyone the other side of the pond).

What's on it? Nosey aren't I?

Mine has followed a career path in retail and strategy with a couple of High Street stores and a large global brand. The purpose of this post isn't to brag or tout for a new job (although that had crossed my mind). What I want to illustrate is that it is in the last 6 years that my CV would make the most interesting and diverse reading. It is no coincidence that The Big One is 6 years old.

So in a useful A-Z format a list of my career 'choices' in the last 6 years.

A is for Art Critic - Constructive criticism even though you have absolutely no idea what it is supposed to be.
B is for Barista - Well you have to take a coffee break right?
C is for Cook - Chef would be far too grand a word for beans on toast.
D is for Dictionary - A walking talking a to z of all those important words like 'tyrannosaurus' and 'bulldozer'.
E is for Entertainer - Not quite Britains Got Talent standard but a passable clown act.
F is for Friend - One that is easily forgotten in the disarray.
G is for Goalkeeper - Sometimes in the garden with a football and sometimes at the dinner table with roast potatoes.
H is for Hairdresser - Never thought I would have to master a french plait.
I is for Image Consultant - That pink t-shirt with those red jeans?
J is for Judge - All the evidence could be circumstantial of course.
K is for Knitter - Well I have needles and wool. Just need a few extra hours in the day.
L is for Librarian - Alphabetised or colour coordinated bookshelves?
M is for Mother - I wish it was that simple.
N is for Nurse - Administer of Calpol and plasters but really not very good with blood.
O is for Occupational Therapist - Who knew that cereal boxes and toilet rolls had so many uses?
P is for Psychologist - Just trying to work out what is happening between those 2 ears.
Q is for Quantum Physicist - A part time hobby you understand.
R is for Referee - Oh for a whistle and a red card.
S is for Story-teller - Although the number of times I've read the same book they should be able to recite it for themselves, surely.
T is for Teacher - Just got to keep one chapter ahead in the text book.
U is for Upcycler - Have you seen my post about the Butterfly Garland?
V is for Volunteer - So helpful when you find out your child has offered your assistance at the school fair.
W is for Washerwoman - What the? Which century are we in?
X is for Xtreme Housewifery - Bugger that. Who's for gin?
Y is for Youth Worker - For the days when they think they are teenagers.
Z is for Zoologist - Worm farms and tadpole tanks - blurgh!

I'm exhausted and the most over qualified housekeeper ever!

So what would you have on your CV?

"A woman wears many hats in one lifetime, why shouldn't one of them be a crown?"
Annie Jones


  1. I love your A-Z! Fantastic! I've often thought if I had to update my cv now after nearly 2 years as a SAHM what on earth would I put on it so now I know ;) thanks!

    I found your blog on blow your own blog horn - I'll be keeping an eye out for your posts!

  2. But I remember the day you came over for coffeee and asked for Gin! That's been on your cv consistently then?

  3. Great list; very funny! Talk about multi-tasking... We do just have to hit the ground running when we have kids, and have to diversify into 26 skills without any training!!!


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