Monday 28 May 2012

Terms of Endearment

I love terms of endearment, the film and actual terms of endearment, darling, sweetheart, my love.

From people I know.

NOT from random people in shops, the market, or on social media.

I have an escalating scale from mildly irritating to "I AM NOT YOUR BLOOMIN' -------*"

*insert term of endearment here

At the more favourable end of the scale, which can be quite sweet if delivered by an elderly gentleman whilst holding the door for me, is Me duck. It is a local term, common in these 'ere parts and is generally used by those of a age older than myself who have lived their entire lives in the same postcode.

Darling can be lovely (from a certain person, in the right context and without any hint of sarcasm). But drop the g and you are in another league.

Sweetheart is old fashioned and has me thinking of post war years, make do and mending and cups of tea. I wasn't there, it just evokes that era.

Dear implies I am of a certain age, especially if delivered by someone younger than myself. I'm sorry but that offends me and sends me into Boots anti-wrinkle cream department forthwith.

Love. This reminds me of my parents. They use this a lot. I don't want to turn into my parents so I try not to use this myself unless administered with more than a dash of sarcasm. Should someone other than my parents use this directed at me, they will be on the receiving end of a stare Paddington would have been proud of.

It is not beyond the realms of possibility that someone could use these terms collectively, within one short interaction, at the market say, whilst buying your satsumas. After I have been physically bowled over by the effusive love gushing in my direction, wondering if their partner knows about our affair, and how I will explain to my husband that I seem to have inadvertently become a lesbian in the last 30 seconds, I then feel an overwhelming desire to tell them "I AM NOT YOUR ------!" punctuated by the throwing of satsumas in their general direction. Failing that I mutter a thank you under my breath, walk home and write a blog post about it.

Then there is the ultimate, the "you really don't want to call her that" one, the off-the-scale endearment that is...


Used between women most commonly. Short for Honey one assumes so therefore SPELLED WRONG! This puts me into stratospheric state of satsuma lobbing pissed-off-ness.

I am a member of a facebook group, where everyone calls everyone Hun and 99% of the time, followed by a X. Should these people (women) meet in real life, I very much doubt they would get on so well and be in such admiration of each other that they would actually call each other Hun. I may be wrong. It is not a term I have ever used, in written form (except here obviously) or in real life, but it has been directed at me on numerous occasions and frankly I know those using it do not consider me their Honey. They are just using it instead of my name. LAZY.

My name is visible on the facebook group, so use it. If we meet in real life ask me my name, I will provide it, and you can use it, freely. I will not charge you.

The word Hun in the strictest sense relates to a group of nomadic people, the most famous of which is Attila. I don't know much about them but I have a feeling I don't really want to be referred to as one.

So best leave it there, eh Hun x


  1. Oooh, I'm a bit guilty of using that one - hon, though, never hun! - but only when I'm speaking to people I know AND consider to deserve it. I hate being called "pet", because I'm not one. ;)

  2. HUN drives me up the freaking wall. I agree with all you say here. Most don't remind me as they come from people older and it's just their way. But Hun makes me homicidal.

  3. Umm... I use 'Hun' daily, but only in speech when I'm talking to my husband and no one else. I'm not a lovey dovey person so it really annoys me when people I don't know call me things like that. Although I am guilty of calling a few close friends chick.

  4. I sometimes am guilty of using hun or sweet rather than sweetheart. uh oh... (would insert x to represent kiss but won't on this occasion ;) )

  5. Oh I am so with you on this one ( I do sometimes call my children sweetheart - not sure why - on many levels)as for the dreaded hun I know exactly what you mean. I have never ever called anyone hun. I do occasionally add x's to messages but usually only to people I have met. Anyway 'night hun! x (teehee!)

  6. I completely agree on all counts. "Duck" is quite common where I live but sounds strange when it comes from the mouth of someone 10 years my junior.

  7. I hate hun too - just too twee. Ducks is cute and I don't mind it, but to the young telesales man who twice called me "luvvie" I eventually piped up "I am not 7, and I am not 77, so pleaase do not patronise me by calling me luvvie" There is nothing worse!!!

    Reading Actually Mummys comment above I can so picture her telling a man off for calling her luvvie! *must remember to call her that next time I see her*

    I also get the rage when someone calls me 'babe'.

  9. Ha ha I HATE it when people say hun. Good way of sorting out who to be friends with though!!

  10. I go through several different "terms of endearment" every Guide meeting - because I CANNOT remember their names! Some have now worked out that if I DO know their name it is a BAD thing. It means I went home muttering and spitting feathers about whatever delightful thing they did that meeting that means their name is now inscribed in my brain with indelible ink. The rest have accepted that "Honey", "Sweetheart" and "Chick" are preferable!

  11. Oh no i say hun frequently on twitter and if iv offended you i seriously apologise! Its just become a habbit! But i dont think im a bad person for saying it! sorry again xx


Oooh, I do like a good comment :-)